When I think back on what’s made the biggest difference in my personal journey over the past decade, I realized it had to do with prioritizing self-care.

It began with focusing on what I needed for my personal definition of self-care.

Prioritizing the things that nourished my body, mind and spirit. From the little things like reading a book, making time for exercise, honing my daily routines, experimenting with ways to make my life better and paying more attention to how I look and feel. To the more complex behavior and mindset shifts such as feeling more confident, taking more risks and knowing my worth.

It didn’t feel natural at first… it felt awkward, indulgent, and inconvenient.

[Read more…] about The Personal Journey Starts With Self-Care

In the last post, we talked about the how everyone could benefit from a stronger connection to their core self. A stronger connection comes along with greater self-understanding and more clarity on what you really want in life. A stronger connection is essential for you to have an underlying drive and joy, which perseveres even in the face of challenges.

For many people, there are external and internal blocks clogging up our ability to connect.

The process of uncovering the blocks will be more successful if you practice these 5 tips for a better connection to your core self.

Let’s unblock, uncover and shine.

Take back your full power

Most people in their early to late twenties graduate from undergraduate or graduate programs and begin earning an income and paying for their own expenses (if they aren’t doing so already). The twenties are a time of transition into adulthood when the majority of people become fully responsible for their own decisions, income and cost of living.

The transition is often awkward at the beginning, as with most new undertakings. The transition to adulthood continues to build over time as you figure out what works best for you, develop a greater awareness of your needs, and build a little more confidence in your abilities.

Many people fall short of what they are truly capable of taking responsibility over, until middle-life or even later-life. They get to a certain point where they view their life simply as “it is what it is.” This point can be a major limiter for some people, especially when they stay stuck in situations, environments, or thought patterns detrimental for them.

You have more power than you probably realize to change all aspects of your life, from the physical environment, finances, lifestyle, to the mental landscape.

We are the creators of our reality.

Instead of viewing life as what happens to you, take responsibility and leadership on your journey. Accept you have the ability to take action and make changes to get closer to what you actually want in life. If you’ve fallen short, observe how you’ve done so instead of passing judgment on yourself; your past doesn’t determine what you have the power to do now.

Take action NOW

Your power lies in the present moment, what you can do now. You aren’t able to do anything about the past, and on the flip side, the future may never exist. You can “tomorrow” or “some day” yourself to death if you choose that route.

After all, it’s much easier and preferable to our primitive brain to stay the same – to stick with the safe, “what’s been done before” route. You survived today. Repeat to survive another day.

If you just want to survive in life, go ahead and keep on doing that.If you want to live a life more connected with your core self, chances are you’re going to have to make some changes.

In the absence of knowing, don’t just stay the same.  

Whatever extent of control you have in this moment, make those changes now. You need to put in the work in order to make any progress. Any procrastination or avoidance will only increasingly take its toll on you over time.

It’s like a weed. It starts out as a seed, grows stronger roots, and if you continue to ignore it, it eventually flowers and creates seeds to grow into more weeds.

Practice self-care

If you’re not taking good care of your needs, health and body, you’ll be hard pressed to establish a strong connection with yourself. It simply doesn’t happen unless you’re in a satisfactory place of getting enough sleep, taking in the nutrition your body needs, and addressing any health issues you have.

This also includes any other needs, such as getting quality me-time and time with others. It’s a pre-requisite before you can focus on uncovering the deeply rooted blocks, which are likely more tolerable (since you’ve been living with them for a while).

Your natural instinct will focus first on the more pressing items lacking for you to operate at your best. Without enough sleep, your body is unable to repair and operate appropriately. Without the healthy food and nutrition it needs, your body is less able to maintain necessary functions with the depleted reserves.

If you’re running yourself in to the ground, it’s costly to your energy and performance level.

Simply put, if you’re not taking care of yourself first, the clear lack of self-respect will prevent a stronger connection to your core self.

Focus on what you enjoy

Your energy is a finite resource. You also only have 24 hours in a day. Focus your energy on what you enjoy and what charges you up instead of the things draining you. Do more of this and you’ll automatically have less time for the things you don’t enjoy.

As you start doing more of the energy chargers, you’ll likely discover more things you enjoy which you’ve never considered before. As you benefit from the energy boost, you’ll have more energy left over to do all the other things. You tend to learn more, put in more effort, and become better at the things you enjoy.

When you spend more time doing things you enjoy, you’re also in a more positive and open mindset to embrace new opportunities.

Many people focus on the opposite. They focus on what’s not enjoyable in their life, what’s not working.

Let go of the rest

Focusing on what’s wrong with things beyond your control is a waste of your energy and time. When you let go of the rest (what you cannot take action on now, what you do not enjoy, what isn’t important to your health and well-being), you free yourself from the never-ending clutter demanding your attention.

You experience an energy boost from this as well because you are no longer wasting your energy where it will make little to no difference.

Part of this is letting go of any expectations you may have and what other people think and do. This applies to letting go of outcomes or results from a situation, project, or task. It means that while you put in your best effort, you’re not attached or dependent on factors you can’t possibly control.

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With these 5 tips, you’ll have a better foundation to reach a greater level of connection with your core self.

Keep in mind it won’t happen overnight.

In establishing the connection with your core self, it’s important to relax and enjoy the process of figuring it out. Sometimes in order to figure it out, you need to back off and give yourself some time and space.

This is the main reason why the process can be so difficult. It often takes the paradoxical act of letting go, in tandem with taking action now, in order to find what you’re seeking. When you’re grasping or trying too hard, you may miss what there is to see. When you don’t take action, you don’t make any progress.

So embrace the process, make continuous progress, and enjoy the journey.

After all, it will be a lifelong practice of maintaining and strengthening that connection even when it’s established. Keep going even though there will be some parts requiring some pain and healing. You’ll likely have to face the demons you’ve been carrying around your entire life to come out on the other side.

Be assured though, coming from the perspective of someone who’s crossed over the worst of it, it’s totally worth it.