We’ve all heard them before, yet there remains a clinging hope for these quick fix claims made by gurus, books and programs.
Their popularity demonstrates how many of us feel like we’re missing something, searching for a secret, trick, formula or template that will be the answer and instantly insert [happiness], [success], and [meaning] into our lives. Like a magical treatment the life doctor prescribes with a co-pay in the form of a book, ticket or hourly rate. Then our life really takes off, pieces align and we spend our lives in an eternal flow. Ding! Amazing.
There are, in fact, three secrets of a happy life.
And the best part is, they’re simpler than you’d think. Let’s dig in.
The answer is unique and it is within.
The first secret is, search as hard as you can and pay as much as you want, there isn’t one formula to life that applies to all.
The answer for you is unlikely to be exactly what has worked for others. Other sources are sharing what they’ve personally experienced or learned from someone else. Yes, you can draw some useful insights and inspiration from other people’s experiences. You can learn tips to improve a skill in a certain area. They may be helpful but they are not the answer.
You need to do the work.
In terms of your life satisfaction, meaning, purpose – whatever you want to call it – that’s like asking someone to teach you to speak a language they don’t know. While they may be farther along in their journey, they do not know more than what you know about yourself. The very ones you are looking up to are also in the process of figuring it out!
The point is to stop emphasizing outside sources and pay more attention to what’s inside. While it’s valuable to learn and get inspiration from others, ultimately it comes down to listening to yourself. Each of us are on our own journey called life and life is a continuous process of figuring it out. This brings us to the second secret.
THIS IS IT. This incompleteness, questioning, confusion, THIS IS LIFE.
This life is yours to explore and enjoy. You need to take responsibility and ownership over your process – all of it, from your inner workings to your environment.
Your perspective, internal dialogue, values, fears, health are among some of the key inner workings. Career, key people in your life, living space, community, lifestyle – these are just a few environmental pieces to thoughtfully examine and create what you want. Stop blindly accepting the status quo, what’s been dealt by Lady Luck, what others want, and take executive control. Let go of the energy drainers in all areas of your life and embrace the energy chargers. These are just some of the main nuggets of the Uncoveries process. The work to uncover can be a lonely and scary process, so it’s beneficial to practice self-care and to seek out the support you need from family, friends or trusted professionals.
You only have one chance to go at your life and it’s constantly ticking towards your expiration. Why spend time and energy on things that don’t make you happy?
The higher the difficulty, the greater the reward and joy.
If it’s easy, then it’s not worthwhile. You’re not trying hard enough in life. Try something that’s crazy, what people say you can’t do. Maybe you’ll fail, but if you do it’s the best way to learn. Or maybe, you’ll find your mojo and soar. Either way, you’ll get much farther than the critics and naysayers who aren’t doing anything of significance, thus putting their chances at near zero.
It’s such an exciting and wonderful time to be alive. There are so many opportunities, so many choices. It shouldn’t be a pain, inconvenience, or chore to figure it out. It’s a gift. It may be scary, but it’s your awesome adventure.
You’re the hero(ine) uncovering your odyssey. Celebrate the ups, downs, and everything in between because it’s all part of the precious and amazing gift of life that’s yours to make. It’s what made you into the person you are today with your own secrets of a happy life.